don't consider a connection valid until it has been up for 30 seconds (so people who are simply establishing connections but whose nats are still messed up get the error)
when dealing with expired after accepted, dont drop unless it expired outside the fudge factor
increase the default maxWaitingJobs to 100, since we can get lots at once (and we dont gobble as much memory as we used to)
also, don't wake up the jobQueueRunner in getNext once a second, instead just let the threads updating the queue notify
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